Clothes I Miss 3
"Babushka." This was a cheap navy scarf that I would wrap over my head and then around my neck in the cold Philly winter. I don't know what my resistance was to a hat, but I just got used to wearing this. People commented on it, like not in a good way.
Grey-green linen wide leg pants. Got these from some roommate or other. They were a great color, beautiful cut and fabric. Too long, so I had to wear heels though.
Silver halter-neck gathered pleated top. This was basically just a big square of fabric with a tie through the top to make a neckline and an elastic through the bottom to make a blouson-style hem. Worn with the linen pants and wedges to a nightclub. Didn't fit in, but felt awesome. Saw my friend Isabel sing, also awesome.
Brown high-necked zip-up sweater. This was a cardigan that zipped all the way up over your nose if you so chose. I got it in Cape Cod when I was trying to assimilate to the mainstream, but it ended up a favorite all the same. I wore it in my last headshots which my friend Richie took for me. I had a cold sore at the time, but he photoshopped it out.
Green J. Crew tissue tee. My favorite of the four tissue tees I owned, this color was gorgeous on my skin tone. Also worn in my headshots, with the brown sweater. Lasted about 15 years, those tissue tees.
Black stretch camisole. Loved this little top when I was at my thinnest. It was snug, but not too tight. I wore it in some creepy headshots that a creepy agent set up for me. I still have the photos, and they're still creepy.
Chunk of metal on sash. This was literally scrap metal that I found in Philly on the ground and strung onto some kind of fabric sash. It was for a self-produced performance at an event dubbed "Ladyfest." I sang and danced to my own music, karaoke style.
Hand-altered nightgown dress with raw hems. Thrifted old nightgown that I ripped apart and overlapped and made a dress out of for another self-produced performance. I remember ironing it and hand-stitching it and really loving that.
Flowered black flared dress with wide collar. Fit me like a dream, a rare thing for me in 7th grade. I wore it to my best friend's Bat Mitzvah. There are photos of me dancing the electric slide in it, obviously thinking I was really cool.
White scalloped-neck flared belted dress. This was my middle school "Dinner-Dance" dress that I got at Ann & Hope, a department store that now only sells curtains and gardening equipment. Surprisingly sophisticated for 8th grade.
Blue chiffon bow-front blouse. This was a semi-sheer, Peter Pan collar short-sleeve blouse that I felt very “soignee” in when I was at my thinnest. I wore it to one of my 4 auditions for Candide, where I sang Glitter and Be Gay and squeaked out Eb super high notes. I got into the chorus.
Black dragon T-shirt. This was a black T-shirt with a yellow drawing of a dragon on it. My then-boyfriend gave it to me, which was significant because he was very into martial arts.
Black lace string-bikini underwear. I somehow managed to acquire these in High School when I wasn't having any sex but doing a lot of making out with my boyfriend from drama club.
Purple cut-off leotard cut in half into a bikini. This was an 80s leotard with the ruching at the center of the bust that I cut into a bikini. I wore it to Cape May, NJ with my friend Kate. We lasted about an hour at the beach before calling it quits and going to the movies. We saw Eyes Wide Shut. Very weird.
Two black Calvin Klein pajama shirts with wide scoop necklines. I got these at Lord and Taylor in the lingerie department in college. I wore them until the wheels came off. So flattering, loose but showed off my collarbones.
Olive green Vera Wang top with oversized sequin placket. This was from Kohl's, but I can't believe how good it was. It was sturdy cotton and kind of flared out slightly so it covered my belly but didn't make me look pregnant. It was really unique with it's random silver and black and gold sequins in various sizes down the center of the front. It also had an exposed zipper in back.
Black woven cotton empire style cami top. This was another flattering but non-pregnant-looking top that was sort of fitted on top with adjustable cami straps, then flared out from below the bust. The stiff woven cotton made it kind of substantial yet summery. I wore it to an audition with a multi-strand beaded necklace. I got the job.
Have I been rash? Are these things I should have kept? Am I constantly trying to erase my past? Is this a good thing? Or have I squandered my beloved clothes?