Germany Trip Updates

With so much going on on this trip to Würzburg, Germany, I feel like I have a few things to catch you up on. There’s not a great deal of culture shock, especially having visited Germany many times before for Matt’s work, but there are always certain adjustments to deal with. Here are some of the highlights (or lowlights):

1. Jet Lag and Church Bells. Jet lag lasted a full week once we arrived in Germany, and no amount of sleeping or napping could cure it. In addition to the trouble of my internal body-clock, there were the church bells. Our apartment is right across the street from a church which rings its bells every 15 minutes, with long, elaborate songs played several times a day and a giant cuckoo-clock type wooden-figure parade sometime in the middle of the afternoon. In addition to these disturbances, 7am is apparently “Bells O’Clock” where every church in Würzburg rings its bells wildly, shaming anyone who feels the need to sleep past 7. Not helpful.

2. The Hobbit House. This is our nickname for our little apartment at the top floor of a medieval-feeling hotel which caters to guests of the nearby theater. Here I should mention the bizarre decor lining the walls of the stairways: there are innumerable portraits of bedraggled teddy-bears dressed in little outfits and posed outside various castles and monuments. I have no words.

But back to the apartment. It’s situated in the eaves of the rooftop and the walls are lined in real hardwood planks. There’s a stunning spiral staircase (also wood) up to a second floor loft where the beds are. As is typical in Germany, there are two single beds which we push together and constantly fall between during the night. This apartment could be really beautiful if you removed all of the decor and gave it a deep clean. Instead it is very dirty with home-made paintings on the walls and no stove to cook with. We were pleasantly surprised to see that the toaster oven had been replaced, but as expected, the kettle had not. Thankfully, we had already ordered one on Amazon and stashed the disgusting one away in a cupboard. One day, in the midst of my jet lag, I drank some strong coffee and scoured the entire kitchen. I poured boiling water on all the silverware and scrubbed every useful plate, glass, and mug, laying paper towel down on the shelves of the cabinets. I sanitized the drawers and their contents and even the mini dustpan and brush that I use to “de-crumb” the table. This means we no longer have to guess which forks are clean every time we reach for one, and don’t have to wash out every mug before using it.

3. Towels and Pillows. I can’t explain the extreme issue with towels and pillows here. Towels are always thin, rough, disintegrating rags, seemingly starched when washed. I bought us our own plush bath towels from TK Maxx and we just use those. Why no one else seems to do the same is a complete mystery. Pillows are also a mystery. Fluffy, large squares that your head goes right through, we have yet to find a German pillow you can actually sleep on. We joke that it’s like having a bag of soup cans under your head at night, except that those might actually keep your head off the mattress, and so would be an improvement. TK Maxx had identical useless bags of fluff, so we’ve been sleeping on the couch pillows (which are completely normal) with pillow cases on them.

4. Grocery Store Checkout. For reasons unbeknownst to me, when the cashiers at the supermarkets here scan your stuff through, they throw your fruit and yogurt onto a tiny shelf from which you must rescue your food before it falls on the floor. There are no bag boys, and there are no bags. If you remember to bring your own bag, you can sometimes catch it all and quickly stash it away before fishing for exact change, which all cashiers here seem to demand. If you have a whole cartful, however, you must simply dump everything back into the cart after scanning and then go over to a little shelf at the front of the store to bag everything on your own time. I will never understand.

5. Finally, I have yet to tell you about the gym. We were lucky enough to find a gym that would give us 2-month memberships and let us pay for them in cash. The gym is very nice, quiet and clean, and has appropriate equipment for us to complete our thrice-weekly, full-body workout. There are only two treadmills in the place, but no one ever seems to be on them when we’re there, so I’ve taken the 10-minute walk there just to do my 20-minute uphill walking and slow jogging. The real mind-boggler here for me was the group showers. I was excited by the prospect of washing my hair at the gym where the water pressure is excellent (our water pressure at the apartment is non-existent). But I was quite surprised by the group showers in the ladies’ locker room. In the U.S. in my experience, the standard is to have private stalls, each with a tiny ante-room in which to dry off and get dressed. Apparently in Germany, it’s not. So I had my first public naked experience on my first day at the gym. I was obliviously washing my hair, soaping up, when another woman walked in to shower. She barely got wet and was on her way out when she started telling me something in German. After multiple hand gestures and confusion, I realized I was supposed to use this giant squeegee on a pole to push the water down the drain since the shower floor is flat. I frantically did so, completely nude and apologizing in German. The ultimate mind-boggler at the gym, however, is the co-ed sauna and relaxation area. Men are just walking around, penises swinging, showering and squeegeeing, lying in the sauna, drinking tea on the recliners. So far I have yet to see another woman in the sauna, and I can see why. But I’m also determined to get my money’s worth and take full advantage of the sauna, so I do go in there when Matt’s with me. Usually we both get weirded out in 5-10 minutes and retreat to the locker rooms.

Well, this pretty much sums up the culture shock so far on our trip to Würzburg. A good friend of Matt’s is here working with him for the first time and it’s alternately hilarious and terrifying to hear about her own experience of the culture here. I have to say, it’s great fun having a witness to some of the oddities and unexpected twists. But I also feel embarrassed for Germany sometimes when she encounters baffling, creepy, and even offensive behavior by her co-workers and the public at large. That said, I’m enjoying my coffee at a lovely cafe and no one is bothering me despite my sitting here for hours writing. I had a peaceful workout (and shower) at the gym today. And people are generally very understanding when you tell them your German is terrible and could they possibly speak in English? I feel especially lucky that Matt has so many more work opportunities here than in the States. And the more often I come here, the more I understand.