Book Review: Women In Clothes
Let me just start off by saying that this is the best book on clothing or style that I've ever read. And I've basically exhausted the collection at my local library: The Cool Factor; Change Your Clothes, Change Your Life; The Curated Closet; How To Get Dressed; Lessons From Madame Chic; Stacy London's book; Victoria Beckham's book; Nina Garcia's book The One Hundred; Trinny and Susannah's book; What to Wear For the Rest of Your Life; Lauren Conrad's book; Cupcakes and Cashmere; basically anything they had on the shelf. The advice given in most of these books is on how to build a wardrobe, what classic pieces you must have, how to style your clothes, dressing for your body type, etc. And a lot of them are really dated, obviously, because fashion changes fast. Especially the ones with pictures- those can be laughably dated. But most of them just have pictures of women in high heels with like, a blazer and jeans on. Or some corporate-appropriate skirt and blouse with "statement jewelry." And they always recommend buying a good trench coat or wearing kitten heels if you don't like wearing high heels. It's basically magazine advice. Not to say that they're all bad- I love The Curated Closet for finding your style, as well as Change Your Clothes, Change Your Life for motivation. And Vic-Beck's book is a fun read. But Women In Clothes is a totally different kind of book. Rather than focusing on the how-to of dressing better, it explores women's relationships with clothes and dressing. There are pictures, but only as part of artistic projects. Most of the book is just words about the experience of living with clothes. The book all started with a survey for 639 women to fill out, and parts of each survey are touched on in interviews or more organic conversations. Some are grouped as anecdotes by subject, and some are first-person stories about a particular clothing-related event or experience. And the result is absolutely fascinating. Because there is so much more to talk about concerning clothes than simply rattling off a list of must-have pieces. The details of each woman's approach to dressing are highly individual and come from a vast range of influences. There are formative experiences, personal fashion evolutions, assumptions and rejections of assumptions, and different perspectives on being female and getting dressed. There are images of collections of clothing, explorations of women's mothers' styles, even quirky detailed accounts of online shopping/stalking. And I feel the aim of this book is right in line with the aim of this blog when it comes to clothes. I like talking about the meaning of clothes and describing clothing in my own words, as well speaking to my own style evolution. And my recent Men's Pants Epiphany post feels less crazy when I find other women have had an experience that resonates with mine:
"Giving up femininity is a relief. It makes me less eager to please. By not dressing in a traditionally feminine way, I have been able to stop making everything better for everyone else. To give myself the entitlement of a man, I have had to look like a man. I don't feel the need to live as a man, or dress like one all the time, but I like being able to play with it. And yes, it does feel dirty, like I'm getting away with something that other people can't. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it has worked for me."
To hear from women who dress in a less traditional way, or who specifically have felt that sense of entitlement I get from wearing men's clothes, makes me feel less alone, like less of a weirdo. Because for me, it makes perfect sense:
"It's wonderful to be a woman if you are young, thin, and pleasing to men. Otherwise there's not so much that's wonderful about it."
This sentiment rings true for me in the sense that it's not wonderful to be objectified, to be harassed at work, to be sexually assaulted. It's not wonderful to have your ideas dismissed, to be rated on a scale of 1-10 by men, to be afraid to walk alone at night. So of course it makes sense for me to quite literally, walk in the shoes of a man. To "wear the pants" so to speak. In men's clothes I feel more respected, more protected, and taken more seriously. And I don't necessarily feel any less feminine- if anything, I feel more attractive as a woman, more myself in men's clothes. Because I'm more empowered, more in control of myself than when I wear plus-size skinny jeans and lightweight little ankle boots. I bought a pair of men's work boots the other day and have been "auditioning" them on the treadmill to make sure they're a perfect fit. The weight of them, the integrity, the structure of them feels right. They make me feel like more of a person. And that's what I think clothes should do for everyone- let you feel the way you want to feel. How refreshing to read a book about how different women do that.
Women In Clothes is written by Sheila Heti, Heidi Julavits, Leanne Shapton, and 639 Others.