Smaller Clothes and Warm Weather Dressing

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I've come to a bit of a crossroads with my wardrobe. I think I'm finally at the point where I need to start swapping out my current clothes for the smaller ones I have in storage. I was wearing a pair of cotton poplin pajama shorts the other night; they have an elastic waist as well as a ribbon drawstring. The elastic is way too big on me, so they were being held up by cinching the ribbon in really tight. But ribbon is slippery, so they kept coming undone and falling down to my husband's great entertainment. So with great trepidation, I dug into my bottom dresser drawer that is currently used for storage, and pulled out three pairs of smaller pajama shorts. I tried a pair on and they fit, but I haven't actually worn them yet. I'm very hesitant to start pulling out smaller clothes- what if they're still too small? I don't want to jump the gun and then be disappointed. But I tried wearing a pair of blue skinny jeans the other day and as I moved around, they, too, fell down comically. And then I noticed my navy J. Crew T-shirts were looking a little big in the bust and the armholes were a bit revealing. I had been drip-drying them after washing them in cold, but since this development I decided to take the risk and throw them in the dryer on low to shrink them up a bit. That worked out fine- I don't see a huge difference, plus it makes laundry easier. And today when I put on my Vince grey cashmere sweater, I looked in the mirror and was surprised to see that it hung pretty much straight down in front, unobstructed by my belly. I've already downsized in the bra department; I started wearing some bralettes that were too small a few months ago. And my sports bras have switched out from two white low-impact ones to two black high-impact ones. Since I've started running intermittently, I needed the support, and since the weight loss, they do fit now. All of these little adjustments have snuck up on me. Until now, I haven't admitted that my clothes are getting to be too big for me. But I guess that time has come where I need to reach into the recesses of my storage bins and see what's what. I keep trying to remember what I was wearing before I sized up to my current clothes. I know the grey Gap joggers were in there- I remember them being too big when I first got them and having to cinch in the drawstring. But aside from that, I don't remember much. Some T-shirts probably stayed the same, along with my silky oversized blouse and striped top. But what was I doing for pants? And at what point did those old pajama pants fit? And why don't I have any summer shorts in between my current ones and the smallest? Maybe I didn't need warm-weather clothing at this weight. But yes, I did- my current shorts are what I wore last spring at 197 pounds (I'm around 198 now). It's weird to think that a year later, I'm right back down to the same weight. And two years ago I was actually down to 152 at some point. That's a lot of weight to be gaining and losing. Clearly I need to bite the bullet and take a full inventory of my storage. Especially now that the weather is (annoyingly) getting warmer and sunnier.

Dressing for summer at this weight is certainly no great joy for me. Wearing a regular underwire, foam-cup bra is just asking for a rash, so that's where the bralettes have come into play. They have a T-back with lace running down the back, so they look fine even when you can see them. I remember finding a two-pack at Marshalls and going on a "quest" for more. It was a success, but I didn't like the color combinations in the two-packs. So I used my tagging gun (so worth the $9 investment) to put the two offending colors back on the hanger and returned them. I am truly shameless, but I am happily left with four colors I like: black, navy, pale pink, and a rosy pink. Those two white sports bras are good for wearing under T-shirts in hot weather, too. But aside from the bra issue, there is still plenty of chafing to look forward to. I bought some rose-scented talc-free powder on Amazon last year that worked well for between my thighs and under my bralettes. For exercise, I always stuck with my leggings as opposed to shorts for any outdoor running or walking no matter how hot it got. Which means that those leggings in my bottom drawer might actually fit me now, so I could get rid of my current workout pants which are almost completely worn through in the crotch (sorry, there's a lot of TMI in this post). But I still feel great trepidation in making these changes. Is it just the fear of finding out I'm not as thin as I think? Or is it really the fear of gaining the weight back and not having any clothes? I had planned on selling my too-big clothes on Ebay, but maybe I'll hold off for a while until I feel more confident in my new weight. And a lot of my clothes can stay the same- I like oversized things anyway, so plenty of my tops will still work just fine. But today just might be the day for finding out what's what: for trying everything on that I think might fit and facing the mirror. Hopefully my head isn't too far ahead of my body and I won't be too disappointed.