Our Minimalist Kitchen

I went to therapy today and we discussed my previous session which my husband attended with me.  My therapist commented on how helpful it was to see us together, and I was glad she could see how much fun we have, how we make each other laugh.  She also remarked on what an asset it is for me to have that kind of support.  I am truly lucky that Matt has stuck by me, no matter what, and that he continues to do so, no matter what.  I could never repay everything he’s done for me, from helping me with my medications and doctors to simply comforting me in the worst days of my life. 

I was having a rough time a little over a year ago, when we were in Germany for his work.  My meds weren’t helping enough, and I spent every night sobbing in despair.  It was during this time that Matt started rubbing my feet to help me calm down.  He would massage my feet very deeply, using a wooden massage tool to get more leverage.  I can’t explain exactly why this was so effective, but it relieved me of my great despair.  I think the pleasant pain of the deep massage was intense enough to distract me from my emotional pain.  So every night, in our tiny attic apartment, up in the sleeping loft with the sloped ceiling, Matt would rub my feet.  Often for an hour or more he would do this, in between directing and designing an opera at the local opera house.  Where he found the energy I will never know, but such is his love for me that he did.  While life has dealt me a bad hand in terms of brain chemistry, I’ve been phenomenally lucky in love.  I can’t remember how or why this ritual of foot massages started, but I can say it has been extremely helpful in the throes of my illness.  I wholeheartedly recommend massage as a coping strategy for depression.  While medication and therapy are the obvious treatments, I think there is something valuable in finding pleasure in the midst of so much pain. 

In that tiny attic apartment, there was a tiny kitchen. We had a few plates and glasses which we supplemented with American-sized coffee mugs from the Euro shop. Every morning Matt would run out and buy croissants from the bakery on our street, and we’d eat them with blueberries and yogurt at our little table. For dinner we had no stove, so we would come up with creative ways to cook without one. We had an electric kettle, and so we made blanched vegetables, pasta, and couscous. We had a microwave, and could heat frozen chicken to go with it. It wasn’t much, but I loved that kitchen. It was truly a minimalist arrangement, and it somehow seemed less difficult to do dishes or prepare a meal. So when we got home, I tried to make over our kitchen into a more minimalist setting. I whittled down our dishes to just 4 plates, 2 bowls, 4 glasses, and 4 mugs. We have 4 saucers, and 2 large dishes for bigger meals. We have an electric kettle which we use with a set of metal nesting bowls with lids to blanche vegetables, make tofu or couscous. We got rid of our dish drying rack, which was always toppling over, and have a simple drainboard instead. You can only fit so many dishes on it, but we only have so many anyway. I sorted our silverware and cooking utensils, keeping all the essentials, but no more. Our dishes are on open shelves, and our few pots and pans hang on a pot rack. We make coffee “pourover” style, using the kettle and a plastic cone with paper filters. We of course have a stove, but the simple meals we invented are things I can manage on my own. I don’t get so overwhelmed that I can’t cook for myself. We usually dry all our dishes by hand and put everything away so it’s ready for our next meal. My husband actually enjoys cooking (I don’t), so of course he keeps some specialty items: a breadmaker, a crockpot, a small bin of gadgets. But they’re stored away so they’re not in our regular rotation. And there’s nothing without a purpose, no excess, and that has helped me manage my meals when he’s working (or when he’s not). I try to wash my dishes immediately with water when I can, leaving just a few things to scrub or soak. And just recently we gave up our cases of plastic water bottles for 2 metal reusable ones. We fill them from the tap, and so far it’s fine. We can’t figure out what’s worse- the tap water or the microplastics in bottled water- so we went for the simpler, cheaper choice and just hope for the best. Nothing’s perfect, but for me, simpler is definitely better.