The Election Stressed Me Out So Much That I Bought 9 Bras, Part Two

The election results had only somewhat quelled my anxiety when, as predicted, Trump and his cronies pretended he’d won. As lawsuits were filed and dismissed and Rudy Giuliani made speeches at landscaping facilities, I continued my epic bra search.

After my very first order on Poshmark was cancelled, I frantically started hoarding bras in various sizes. While tensions ran high, all was not lost. I still had my 34B coming from Ebay and my rando 38B “Sexy Black lace bra” coming from Poshmark (or so they said).

I was baffled by Poshmark’s response (or lack thereof) to my unfulfilled order. There were no repercussions for the seller like there are on Ebay for flaking on a sale. There was no way for me to leave feedback or even a star rating, since the sale didn’t actually go through. Poshmark refunded my money when I contacted them, and they assured me that their sellers “behave professionally.” I was not impressed.

But finding my bras was way more feasible on Poshmark than on Ebay. I could scroll through a few hundred listings of discarded T.J. Maxx purchases on Poshmark. Ebay would give me a list of 28,000 results with little likelihood I’d find one of these bras that often have no brand on the tag. So despite having two orders in the works, I panicked. I just couldn’t let it lie.

Upon that Poshmark cancellation, I immediately went back on the app and bought two more bras: a pink “OG” in 36C (new with tags) and a beige “textured roses” style in 36B. With my existing 38C “textured roses” bra being too big, I thought both were worth a shot.

Later that day, I was scrolling while on the treadmill. Simply searching “lace bra” on Poshmark, I came across two listings from the same seller. I recognized the bras immediately as that newest “Sweet On You” style with the hole in the center. They were new with tags, one black and one white, and only $8 each. The photos confirmed the style number: B15279.

I “bundled” the two items together to save on shipping and tapped “Buy Now.” My payment options were already set up, so it went through like magic. The listings had only been live for 6 hours, but I was primed to find them.

Once my blood stopped pounding from the adrenaline (and the treadmill), I started feeling a little anxious about how much money I was spending, still not having received even one bra in the mail. I was still guessing as to what size I was, and now had six purchases under my belt.

At last I received the “New With Tags” 34B “OG” from Ebay. It was too small, as predicted, but I tucked it away in my drawer for posterity.

The Poshmark sellers seemed to be taking their sweet time. Days went by, and I received an occasional email from the app telling me that they were reminding the seller to ship, or that the seller was planning to send it soon. I found this very weird, but again, Poshmark is not like Ebay. You can’t screen sellers by looking at ratings or feedback. If you dig deeper into sellers’ profiles, you can still only see their “love notes”— comments left by people who gave them a five-star rating. Negativity does not exist on Posh.

Finally, the seller named “Lizzy” came through and shipped the “Sexy Black lace bra.”

She had wrapped it in tissue paper and enclosed a handwritten note as well as a “gift” of a red, long-sleeved Kohl’s T-shirt, new with tags. Was this supposed to be some sort of compensation for taking so long to ship? Who knows? The bra was a pretty good fit, and similar in style to the “OG”— it was a 38B and it did have the right RN number, 72409.

Next to arrive was the “Tan lace bra 36B,” also from Poshmark, this one in the “textured roses” style. It fit, technically, but it still seemed a little small, and the style wasn’t quite as good; it just wasn’t the coveted OG.

And then the pale pink one arrived. This “OG” was an MOB1321 as opposed to the newer style number B1321, so it was possibly 20 years old but in perfect condition.

And it fit. It dawned on me that a 36C is going to be really similar to a 38B, so that was the size I should be hoarding (38Bs are always really hard to come by). Plus the “OG” style seemed to fit a touch smaller than the “textured roses” style.

I started frantically searching the 36Cs on Poshmark and found “LACE bras (set of two).”

For only $15 and one $7.11 shipping fee, here were two OGs, one black, one white. The listing said the black one had been washed and dried (Huh? Did this person put a bra in a dryer? Who does that?) so the strap was a little funny. I did not care. I wanted them. I hemmed and hawed for about two days before pulling the trigger.

I swore that this would be my last bra purchase, that now I could rest. But that lady still wouldn’t sign that order to prepare for Biden’s presidency. The bras were coming in— I was getting closer to what I wanted, we were getting closer to reinstating democracy, but we weren’t there yet.

The 36B “Sweet On You” bras arrived but were a bit small, and then the 36Cs— the “OGs”— arrived. But they were actually 38Cs. I checked the listing— the box was checked for 36C but the description said 38C. I thought it was a bust (Get it?). Here was the size of bra I’d already owned and determined was too big.

But I tried one of these on and I felt like Cinderella. It was the best yet. And I remembered what happened the last time I bought a bra (Fugue State Bra Shopping). Same brand, slightly different style, and yet— I’M THE SAME SIZE.

Once again, I didn’t care. I was finally united with my dream bras— the “OGs” in 38C. Plus I had the pink 36C and the black 38B— those were good, too. I thought we were good. But Michigan was visiting the White House and Trump was aiming to get them to cheat and help him “win.” And I thought of all those bras out there— the ones I had favorited— and sifted through the lists. Were there any more 38Cs out there, in danger of being pulled down and tossed in the trash?

Well, there was one. Almost a week had gone by since my last purchase. I was absolutely swimming in bras (I was up to 8 now). But there it was, languishing under the title “style #b1321 Black Lace Bra size 38C.”

It wasn’t new with tags. It didn’t have a brand name on it. But there was that style number on the tag, clear as day: B1321. I caved. I offered $11 and the seller accepted. It was mine.

This time, I felt content. Michigan came through, the lady signed the thing, and Biden was moving forward. I finally had a collection of bras that supported me, and that I felt respected me as a woman. And I no longer had a president that “grabs women by the pussy” or has 27 credible counts of sexual assault against him.

Somehow, I feel like I get to be a person again. I started out with little hope that these bras were out there, that those Biden voters were out there. But somehow, the country’s turned around and we’ve come through.